The Triple Date Creation
by SergeantFuzzyBoots
Summary: Wanting to spend more time with Penny and Bernadette, Amy searches for a way to participate in their double dates, which may require Sheldon's help.  Pairings: L/P, H/B, slightly S/A  Rated T to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

**So, I've been meaning to write this for a while and finally found the time to get the first chapter written down. So here it is. Hopefully you all enjoy it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. (Boy, it's depressing to have to write that every time)**

"And it was at that precise moment that I fell out of my mother at the K-Mart. There were seven Texans doing their shopping present, as well as half a dozen K-Mart employees, all of whom were witnesses, except for three who fainted," Sheldon concluded, looking very satisfied with himself.

The room had gone silent since the theoretical physicist had started his anecdote, and the six other people who occupied the living room were now glancing at each other uncomfortably.

"Um..." Leonard said, breaking the silence after a moment. "Why did we need to hear that story, again?"

"Penny made yet another comment about me being a foreigner to Earth and that one day my alien brethren would come to bring me back home," Sheldon replied, giving the waitress in question, who sat next to him, an irritated look. She met it with an overly-innocent smile. "I was simply explaining that, while I'm clearly much higher up on the evolutionary tree, I can't be an alien because I was born in a Texas K-Mart with eleven witnesses including my mother."

"Right, thanks for that," Howard muttered, shaking his head as if trying to clear away the story he'd just heard. "I think we've found a new contender for scariest horror story."

Sheldon frowned at the engineer, looking confused. "It wasn't a horror story..."

Amy, quite proud that she'd been able to understand what Howard had meant, immediately jumped in to help. "I believe that Howard was likening the story of your birth to a ghost story or a horror film."

"Thank you, Amy," said the engineer sarcastically.

"This is most likely because he finds the visual aspects of child birth to be rather disgusting," Amy continued. "Or, possibly, that he has a fear of babies-"

"_Thank you, Amy!_" Howard interrupted loudly.

Assuming that it would not be wise to continue with that topic, the neurobiologist decided to strike up a new conversation. "Speaking of horror films, there's a new one being released on Friday night that promises to feature deaths by decapitation, disembowelment, and suffocation." Amy said this in a cheerful tone, causing the four men sitting around her to look slightly disgusted.

"You enjoy horror films?" Sheldon asked, surprised.

"I didn't used to; however, Penny and Bernadette have taken me to so many now that the initial factors of terror and squeamishness have long since worn off." Amy turned to look at the two women in question. "So, Bestie, Bernadette, how about it?"

"I can't," said Penny, giving the neurobiologist an apologetic look. "Leonard and I are going rollerblading on Friday and then probably the hospital."

Leonard raised his eyebrows at this and then turned to frown at his girlfriend. "Hey, you said I was getting better."

Penny did a slight double take, seeming as though she had not intended to say as much as she had. "And you are!" she hastily assured him, moving a hand up to squeeze his shoulder. "You're doing so much better than the first time we went..." Leonard and Penny both winced at the memory.

Amy nodded and turned to the microbiologist. "Bernadette?" she prompted. While she would miss Penny's boundless whimsy, she and Bernadette could still have a good time.

"Actually, I can't either," said Bernadette. "Howard's taking me to a _Planet of the Apes _marathon."

Raj's face took on a look of panic and he moved to whisper in Howard's ear. The engineer sighed and then said, "And Raj is coming, too." The astrophysicist nodded, looking pleased again.

"What about Saturday?" Amy asked.

"We can't," said Penny. "Leonard and I are going out with Howard and Bernadette on Saturday."

"Oh, I see," Amy said, nodding. "Perhaps another time then."

Penny and Bernadette assured her that they would see the movie when they were all free; however, the neurobiologist was not confident about this. The 'girl time' with Penny and Bernadette that Amy had grown accustomed to and been enjoying very much over the past months had been happening less and less. This was mainly due to Leonard and Penny resuming their romantic relationship and, while Amy was happy for her Bestie, both Penny and Bernadette being in relationships left them with little time to spend with Amy. It was true, she did have Sheldon to play Counterfactuals with or mock other scientists, but the theoretical physicist had made it quite clear that he would never again have a ca-razy night, and it was impossible for them to have a 'classic bathroom gab fest'. Well, perhaps not impossible if they were to use the video chat on their phones, but it just wouldn't be the same.

Raj moving to whisper something in Howard's ear again interrupted Amy's thoughts. "Raj says he's free to hang out on Saturday," the engineer explained.

"Oh, excellent!" said Sheldon, grinning with excitement. "We'll be able to test out my latest version of three-person-chess."

Well, at least she'd be doing something on Saturday; now that she'd tried it out, she found that having an active social life suited her quite well and tried very hard to keep it lively. Still, while she enjoyed three-person-chess (though it had lost some of its excitement since Sheldon had gotten rid of Prince Joey to make room for other characters) Amy would have rather been at the horror movie with Penny and Bernadette.

**I hope to have the next chapter up soon. And reviews are always welcomed! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's chapter two. And, as you'll notice in this chapter, Bernadette and Howard are already married in this fic, just to give you an idea of the timeline. Kind of a messy timeline, but whatever.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

Amy hurried up the stairs of the apartment building and made her way towards the entrance of 4B. When she reached the door, she didn't knock right away, but placed her ear against the wooden surface, listening intently. The neurobiologist had recently made the mistake of entering Penny's apartment while Leonard had been present; it was not an experience she wished to repeat and, based on the couple's reaction, they had similar sentiments on the matter. Sheldon had assured Amy that he'd walked in on Leonard and Penny numerous times and it was the couple's inability to suppress their biological urges that was at fault in these situations, but she didn't want to take any chances. She had important news to share with her Bestie and thought it best that Penny be in a good mood when she heard it.

Not hearing anything out of the ordinary, Amy knocked on the door.

"Hey, Amy," Penny said brightly when she answered the door a moment later. "What's up?"

"There's something I'd like to discuss with you," Amy explained as she entered the apartment. She paused in front of the couch and looked around, deciding on how to proceed. "It would probably be best if we were both seated."

Penny frowned slightly but nodded and the two sat down on the loveseat.

"What's up?" the waitress repeated.

Amy was about to reply, but then stopped abruptly upon realizing something. "It occurs to me that Bernadette should be present for this conversation as well."

"Okay," Penny said, stretching the word out. She thrummed her fingers against the top of her knees. "Bernadette's not here, so..."

"So, we'll have to call her," the neurobiologist concluded. She began digging through her purse for her phone.

"But she's at work," Penny pointed out.

"Not to worry, I know how to reach her." Amy dialled the number for the microbiologist's work and then waited. "This is Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler for Dr. Bernadette Wolowitz," she said once the secretary had answered. "Her husband, Mr. Howard Wolowitz, has been in a horrific accident and I must speak with her immediately."

Penny's eyes widened and she began shaking her head fervently. Amy merely winked at the waitress; she'd had this trick up her sleeve for months and had been awaiting a good opportunity to use it.

"Amy?" Bernadette's shrill voice sounded from the cell phone. "What's wrong? Is Howard okay?"

Amy grinned, very pleased with herself. "Howard is fine, to my knowledge; there was no horrific accident. I used trickery and deceit in order to reach you at work."

"Wha-why didn't you just call my cell phone?" Bernadette demanded.

"And get you in trouble for taking a personal call that wasn't an emergency? I would never do that to you."

"No, you'd just pretend that my husband had been gravely injured," the microbiologist muttered.

"Exactly," Amy said, nodding even though Bernadette couldn't see. "Now, down to business. There's something I'd like to discuss with you and Penny."

"But Penny's not here," Bernadette pointed.

Amy had to refrain from letting out an irritated sigh as she reached the phone over to Penny so she could make her presence known; she was growing impatient to share her idea.

"So, Amy, what did you want to discuss?" Penny asked, after handing back the neurobiologist's phone.

Amy spoke into her cell phone so Bernadette could hear. "Sheldon and I would like to participate in your double date on Saturday."

The neurobiologist did not receive the enthusiastic-or at the very least intrigued-reaction that she'd been anticipating. Penny simply stared at her, her mouth slightly open, and no sound came from the cell phone, which indicated that Bernadette was having a similar reaction to Penny's. Amy was rather disappointed; she'd thought this was the perfect solution for spending more time with Penny and Bernadette. By inserting herself into more of their social gatherings she'd see her girl friends more and would be more current on the goings on in their lives. In addition, she'd spent hours thinking up this idea last night, during which time she'd toyed with various other plans, one of which included calling Priya up (though she'd scrapped it when she realized that this probably wouldn't increase her chances of seeing more of Penny), and was looking for a little more recognition for the hard work.

"Though, I suppose, with the addition of another couple, we'll have to call it a triple date," Amy continued, hoping this would encourage a little more feedback.

"I think when it's more than two couples then you just call it a group date," Bernadette's voice said from the phone.

"Well that's not very specific," Amy said, frowning.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Penny said, having finally found her voice. "_Sheldon...Sheldon Cooper_ wants to go out on a group date?"

Amy had anticipated these kinds of inquiries and was ready with an answer. "Sheldon feels that it would be very beneficial to engage in more of these types of social gatherings. He's taken quite the interest in the social sciences."

Penny stared again for a moment before saying, "_Sheldon Cooper_?"

Amy furrowed her brow in confusion. "I thought we'd already established that it was."

"No, I mean-I was just..." The waitress stammered as she struggled to get her point across. She shook her head. "You and Sheldon went on a date over a year ago and never showed any interest in going on another one. Why, all of a sudden, do you guys have an interest in the 'social sciences'?"

"The date Sheldon and I went on was not unproductive," the neurobiologist explained. "We learned quite a bit about each other. Sheldon and I both agree that by getting to know each other better and, during a 'group date', all of you, we better our chances of surviving in today's society, which, unfortunately, is hinged on being adept in the social sciences."

After what seemed like a very long silence, Bernadette spoke up. "Well, I have no problem if you and Sheldon want to join us. The more the merrier."

Amy was relieved to hear this. She hadn't been entirely confident that her and Sheldon's reasons for taking part in the group date would convince Penny and Bernadette, but it appeared to be working thus far.

"Penny?" Amy prompted, looking at her Bestie expectantly.

The waitress shrugged. "It's fine with me, too, but..." She narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "You're sure this isn't for some experiment you and Sheldon are working on? You know, not a 'knowing more about romance will help us destroy it' type thing?"

The neurobiologist shook her head. "No experiments whatsoever." She should have expected questions about that. Ever since the group had found about her and Sheldon's gossip experiment, they'd been on the lookout for others. "I can assure you that, for nothing more than the simple pursuit of better social skills, Sheldon and I are one hundred percent invested in and excited about this group date."

"Well, okay then," Penny said. "I guess we're having a group date on Saturday."

Amy grinned, pleased. Step one of her plan was now complete. Now all that was left to do was make Sheldon one hundred percent invested in and excited about the group date.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

As soon as Amy left Penny's apartment she made her way across the hall and knocked on the door. Under normal circumstances, she would have simply used Skype or the video chat on her phone to have this conversation with Sheldon, but, since there was a lot riding on the theoretical physicist's answer, she felt it best to have this discussion face to face. In addition, talking in person eliminated the danger of Sheldon losing interest and closing his laptop on her.

"Hello, Amy," Sheldon said brightly when he answered the door. "You're just in time; I'm fine tuning a few of the rules for three person chess for when we play against Koothrappali on Saturday." He gestured to his whiteboard, which was covered in notes and a diagram of a golf cart, as he led Amy inside.

"Actually, Sheldon," Amy said, seating herself in the middle of the couch. "We won't be able to test out your latest version of three person chess on Saturday."

"Of course we will," he countered before picking up a marker and scribbling more notes onto his board. "What else could we possibly want to do other than play three person chess on a Saturday night?"

"Accompany Penny, Bernadette, Leonard, and Howard on their double date."

Sheldon did not respond right away. He slowly turned to face her, his expression quite blank. Had she not been so focused on willing a positive reaction to occur, Amy might have pointed out that Ricky had had a similar expression right before he'd attacked her for taking his cigarettes away.

The theoretical physicist was silent a moment more before asking, "Sarcasm?"

Amy frowned, confused. "No. It was literal."

"It can't be literal!" Sheldon argued, folding his arms across his chest. "That would imply that we _are_ accompanying them on their double date, which we are not."

"But we are," Amy corrected. "I asked Penny and Bernadette if we could join them and they agreed."

Sheldon stared at her for a moment and then sank down into his spot next to her. He raised an eyebrow at her. "Are you sure you aren't trying to do a 'Bazinga'?" he asked, a hint of desperation in his voice. "Because, while I admire your attempt to be as funny as I am, in a proper 'Bazinga' you would have let me in on the joke by now."

"Sheldon, this is not a joke," Amy said, very seriously.

The theoretical physicist nodded a few times before getting to his feet. "I'm sorry to have to do this," he said as he made his way to the door. "But get out." He opened the door and then gestured towards the hallway.

Amy frowned. Apparently this was the face-to-face version of closing a laptop. Fortunately, she had a little more say in the matter this time. "Now, now. You haven't heard my reasoning for doing this."

Sheldon's gaze shifted between Amy and the doorway. He seemed rather conflicted, which caused the neurobiologist to experience a twinge of worry-her plan would fail if she failed to convince Sheldon-, but then he gave a quick nod to indicate that he was listening.

"If we consider the strength in numbers principle," she explained. "Not participating in these double dates could easily be our downfall." This was another form of convincing that Amy had come up with while working out he faults in her master plan. She'd known she couldn't have used the excuse she'd given Penny and Bernadette-Sheldon would never actually go for that one-, so she'd had to come up with another. "Think about it. The majority of the members in our social group gather together at least three times almost every month, which creates a strong bond between them and, if an opportunity were to arise, a potential alliance."

Sheldon's eyes widened. "I see," he said, making his way back to his spot. "By allowing them to continue meeting on a regular basis without our supervision, we run the risk of them eventually taking control of our social group." Amy had to suppress her urge to grin; she had him convinced. "Given that kind of power," he continued, his fear rising. "They could easily alter our routine and the next thing you know we're eating at the Olive Garden on Tuesday instead of The Cheesecake Factory." He got to his feet and marched over to his whiteboard, picked up an eraser and began clearing away the three person chess information. "Right. We're going to have to figure out a way to put an end to these 'double dates'."

Amy's eyes widened in surprise; this was a development she had not been anticipating. "Actually," she countered. "I believe that eliminating the gatherings altogether would do more harm than good. By destroying their meeting opportunities, we make enemies of ourselves and unite them in anger."

Sheldon stopped erasing and turned back to face her. "Shrewd," he said, nodding.

"Exactly. That's why my suggestion is we insert ourselves into the double date under the facade of a happy couple-of _friends_," she added hastily, when he raised an eyebrow at her. "And we eventually become the leaders of the new alliance we create among them."

Amy had hoped that this last bit of advice would garner Sheldon's support in the matter; however, he still did not seem eager to participate in the date.

"Couldn't...couldn't we just make our own alliance with Raj?" he asked uncertainly, fidgeting with his hands.

"That still doesn't give us a majority," Amy pointed out. "And others might argue that having Raj in our alliance would not be a plus."

Sheldon sighed, defeated, and the neurobiologist knew she had won. The most difficult phase in her plan was complete; Amy was so pleased by this that she forgot about suppressing her smile and beamed brightly. It was back to more ca-razy nights with her girl friends, even if the boys were going to be present, she could share.

"But I don't want you consuming any alcohol during these 'double dates'," Sheldon said sharply. "If we're going to do this then I want Smart Amy to be present at all times."

Fine. The nights wouldn't be ca-razy, then. It didn't matter; nothing was ruining the good mood her plan being a success had put her in.


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's the next chapter. The date starts in this one, so hopefully you'll all enjoy that.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

Amy stared at her nails in concentration as, slowly, each one became a bright red colour. Penny had talked her in to trying out the Sultry Sunrise Red nail polish again and her Bestie was now painting her nails. _And it looks pretty _Amy thought firmly. _You have no desire whatsoever to scrub this sticky substance from your fingernails. _She figured that inwardly chanting this for another minute or so ought to convince her it was the truth.

It was the night of the group date and the girls had congregated in Amy's apartment to get ready for the evening. The boys had met up at Leonard and Sheldon's apartment, which, judging by his numerous text messages, was not to the theoretical physicist's liking at all. Apparently, if Howard tried to spray him with cologne one more time, then he was going to jump out the window. Knowing that a suicide attempt would ruin her plan, Amy had attempted to calm him down by pointing out the rewards that fitting in and knuckling under would win them in the long-run. It was working so far, but nevertheless, Amy was anxious to get going.

"Okay, Amy, I'm all finished," Penny said, capping the bottle of nail polish and putting it on the coffee table. "What do you think?"

The neurobiologist examined her nails and chanted in her head once more before replying. "They're so pretty," she said, completely monotone.

Penny grinned, shaking her head.

"Right, I suppose it's time to leave now," Amy said, getting to her feet. "I call shotgun."

"But the guys aren't here yet," Bernadette pointed out, frowning.

"Are we not simply meeting them at the restaurant?"

Penny shook her head. "No. They're picking us up."

Amy furrowed her brow in confusion. "Well that seems odd. Given that the men are getting ready in Sheldon and Leonard's apartment, and we're all travelling together, wouldn't it make more sense to get spruced up for the night in Penny's apartment?"

"Yeah," Bernadette agreed. "But it's sort of more fun when they have to pick us up. You know, it's kinda chivalrous."

The neurobiologist frowned. "It seems like more of an attempt to ensure that the men remain subordinate in the relationship and are compliant to any and all demands given."

Penny and Bernadette glanced at each other. It was silent for a moment before Penny spoke. "Well...that's just silly."

Bernadette nodded fervently. "Yeah. We'd obviously never do something like that."

Amy shrugged, slightly disappointed. "A shame. It would have been a very useful tactic to achieve such a status in the relationship."

A bit of awkwardness seeped into the room as all girls were quiet, Penny and Bernadette raising their eyebrows at each other.

"Well, I should get changed," the microbiologist said suddenly, clapping her hands together. "Be right back."

Sitting back down on the couch, Amy frowned as Bernadette disappeared down the hall, her purse swinging behind her. Another oddity. The neurobiologist had not been under the impression that the group date was a formal wear event. True, Penny was wearing a pink dress, but her Bestie had always gotten dressed up for their nights out, while Amy and Bernadette had gone casual. Apparently that was not the case this time around.

Amy dug her cell phone out of her purse and began texting Sheldon._ It appears there's a dress code we were unaware of. It's too late for me_-she didn't own any dresses-_, but you can still pull this off. Please attempt to mimic whatever Leonard is wearing._ She decided not to include Howard in that, not a fan of his overly-tight pants.

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry, this <em>cannot <em>be safe," Sheldon said, twenty minutes later when they were all in Leonard's care on the way to the restaurant. All six of them were in one car, Sheldon squished up against the left window in back with Howard up against the right window, and Amy and Bernadette were in the middle. Leonard and Penny were sitting in the front; people were trying not to comment on the injustice of that. Except Sheldon. Normally, Amy would have joined in his rant about the hazards of over-populating a vehicle, especially when it caused seatbelts to be unemployable, but tonight was about fitting in, cementing herself and Sheldon into the group so it was certain they would be invited to the next group date. If achieving that meant risking her life in a tiny little car, operated by a tiny little, myopia-stricken man, then Amy would do it.

"Relax, Sheldon. This isn't any more dangerous than taking the bus," Leonard reasoned, glancing at his roommate through the rear-view mirror.

"And do I take the bus, Leonard?" Sheldon demanded, raising an eyebrow.

"Not since you threw away your bus pants," the experimental physicist muttered.

"They were sticky!" Sheldon said defensively, not noticing Leonard's smirk. "But, anyways, I feel as though I've made my point." He was silent for, by Amy's count, 0.2 seconds, before he spoke again. "I thought I specifically called shotgun before we left."

"Sorry, Sheldon," Penny said, turning in her seat to face him as best she could. "But Leonard and I have a car agreement we can't ignore."

The theoretical physicist's eyes widened. "And what are the parameters of this agreement?"

"I get shotgun whenever Leonard drives," she replied, trying hard to hide her smirk as she shrugged at her neighbour.

"Drat," Sheldon sighed, missing the fist bump Leonard gave his girlfriend.

"Don't worry, Sheldon," Leonard said. "When you get your license, you and Amy can sit up front and Penny and I will go in the back."

"Not likely, you get car sick in the back."

Leonard's grip on the steering wheel tightened. "Right," he said, stretching out the word. "Howard, how much farther is the restaurant, do you think?"

"Hang on, let's hear more about your car sickness first," Howard said, grinning from ear to ear.

"What is it? Like, ten, fifteen minutes away?" Leonard asked as though he hadn't heard the engineer's comment.

Deciding that now would be a good opportunity to show how well she and Sheldon fit in with the group, she turned-as best she could in such a confined space-towards Sheldon. "I like your suit," she said, deadpanned. Both Leonard and Howard had complimented Penny and Bernadette on their attire before they'd left, and Amy had deduced that this was an activity that each couple engaged in during the group date. She assumed that it was supposed to be Sheldon giving her the compliment, but, given that she hadn't followed the dress code, this kind of behaviour might appear suspicious. The next best option was giving Sheldon the compliment instead.

"Thank you," Sheldon said, glancing down at his plaid suit. "Howard wanted me to wear the one that was only one colour, but this was just after he'd given me his "I'm a passionate man" speech, which lacked logic in almost every sentence, so listening to him seemed like a poor choice."

Bernadette frowned. "What's your "I'm a passionate man" speech about?" she asked, looking over at her husband.

The engineer stuttered a moment and then quickly turned away to look out the window. "So, uh, I think we'll be there in about seven minutes...give or take."

Sheldon sighed in relief. "Thank goodness. I wasn't sure-oh, dear Lord we're turning a corner."

The car turned left and the theoretical physicist was pressed up even more against the window as the other passengers in back slid to the left a little. Amy couldn't help but grin; in her opinion, this night was off to a great start.


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry it took so long to get this chapter. I was suffering from some writer's block and then school got really busy. Anyways, here it is. Hope you enjoy it. Raj is in this chapter, just to let you know that I didn't forget about him.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

Amy mindlessly picked at her salad as she listened to Penny recount one of her days at the restaurant. The story had something to do with an intoxicated customer coming to the bar, but the neurobiologist had lost track of details because she'd been too preoccupied with replying to the text messages Sheldon kept sending her. He'd started bombarding her with texts about five minutes after they'd arrived at the restaurant, letting her in on his thoughts and opinions on things they needed to be wary of. So far the theoretical physicist had noted that Bernadette usually started the conversations, Penny was prone to telling a myriad of tedious anecdotes, and that twice now Howard had been talking with food in his mouth. While most of these points seemed rather irrelevant, Amy had been pleased to receive a text message from Sheldon in which he said that they would have to attend more of the group dates. While it was due to the fact that he felt they needed to become more permanent members before the others would feel comfortable discussing topics concerning his routine change again and not because he was enjoying himself, Amy would take it.

"So, Bernadette, how are things going at your work?" Penny asked, having finished her story.

"Pretty good," she replied. "We've just started doing some work with Yellow Fever and some grad students are coming to observe." The microbiologist gave a mischievous grin. "And apparently one of our pharmacists got to second base with one of the grad students last night."

Amy, noticing Sheldon frown and pull out his cell phone, readied herself for another text message, but she didn't receive one. Curious, she leaned over to get a better look at what he was doing. He appeared to be googling something, though she couldn't tell what.

"Oh, I see!" he said after a moment of scrolling through the page he'd searched. "Second base refers to an escalation of physical intimacy in a relationship. It follows the designated bases in baseball until the relationship becomes carnal." Sheldon grinned proudly at the other members of the group who met his smile with blank stares. "It's a sports metaphor," he concluded, as if that needed to be clarified.

"Thank you, Sheldon," Leonard mumbled after a moment of dragging silence.

"No problem," he said, nodding to his roommate. "But just to make sure I've got this down, saying that you and Penny 'hit a home run' last night would be a correct usage of the term, am I right?"

"Sheldon!" both Leonard and Penny exclaimed.

"I'm wrong?" Sheldon began scrolling through his phone again, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion. "Okay, then what is the appropriate term that implies that the two of you engaged in coitus last night?"

"Oh God," Penny groaned, shaking her head.

Taking Leonard and Penny's looks of annoyance as a bad sign, Amy surreptitiously reached for her phone and began texting Sheldon.

_They're beginning to turn on us. Abort current topic of conversation._

Sheldon received the message a moment later and quickly put his phone away. He cleared his throat. "You know, this conversation has begun to bore me, I move we change topics." He looked around the table. "Any objections?"

"None whatsoever," Leonard muttered, picking up his fork and poking at the fish on his plate.

"Leonard," Amy said, hoping to start up a new conversation. "I can't help but notice that you've been wincing periodically while using your fork."

"Oh, yeah," Leonard said, shrugging as he glanced at his hand. "It's nothing. I just hurt my hand the other day."

"How did you do that?" Amy asked, frowning.

Penny spoke up before Leonard had a chance to reply. "Leonard thought that he didn't need to wear any padding when he went rollerblading." She gave her boyfriend a teasing grin. "He was wrong."

"Really, Leonard?" Sheldon asked, raising an eyebrow. "Rollerblading without the proper padding? Have the monthly safety lectures I host in our apartment meant nothing to you?"

"Yes, well, now Leonard knows that if he doesn't wear padding, then he's going to end up pinned on the floor while his girlfriend pours peroxide on his hand."

Leonard rolled his eyes as the group chuckled. "I would have been fine if you hadn't let go of my hand," he mumbled, wincing again as he stabbed at a piece of fish.

"Mmm, no you wouldn't have been," Penny said teasingly. She reached over with her fork and speared the piece of fish Leonard had been poking at and lifted it up to him. He grinned and took the fish from her.

Amy raised an eyebrow at this. Even though Sheldon had been texting her constant updates on the group's behaviour this was the most interesting thing she'd noticed so far. It appeared that feeding your date was a common occurrence on these group dates, as Howard and Bernadette had also engaged in this earlier this evening. Personally, Amy didn't think the activity looked all that appealing, but if everyone was doing it, then it didn't seem like she had much choice.

She glanced over at Sheldon. No doubt he'd find the notion of sharing food rather disgusting as well, but he did carry around all of the necessary disinfectants to save himself from any suffering. And they'd only have to do it once, just to show that they could.

Looking down at her salad, Amy stabbed at a piece of lettuce with her fork and lifted it towards Sheldon. "Sheldon, please try this," she said, doing her best to sound firm, but casual.

Sheldon slowly turned his head to look at her fork. His brow furrowed in confusion and he gave her a look of incredulity. Amy simply nodded and pushed the fork closer to him. Sheldon looked back down at the fork and stared at it for a long time. Amy could feel the others looking at them and, for a moment, was worried that Sheldon would refuse to eat the lettuce; however, after another long minute had passed, he hesitantly leaned forward and took the food.

Amy grinned and cast a quick glance at the rest of the group. They were all staring at Sheldon in utter disbelief. Good. That meant they had all witnessed how easily the two of them fit into the group.

Sheldon, who had been taking an inordinate amount of time to chew Amy's food, finally swallowed, doing his best not to cringe. He was silent for a moment and then cleared his throat. "I'll be right back," he said before bolting from the table and hurrying down the hall.

Amy beamed brightly. It was astounding how well they fit into the group date scene.

* * *

><p>Raj slowly made his way up the stairs towards 4A. Beta testing Sheldon's latest version of three person chess wasn't exactly his idea of a terrific Saturday night, but it beat spending the night alone in his apartment again. It did mean spending the evening with the Shamy, which admittedly could be rather weird at times, but he was sure it would be fine.<p>

He reached the door to the apartment and turned the knob. It was locked. Raj frowned. Usually, Sheldon left the door unlocked when he was expecting company. Maybe this was just a new security measure he was trying out in case the robbers came back. Whatever it was, it didn't matter; Raj had a spare key with him.

Upon unlocking the door and entering the apartment, Raj found that it was empty. There was no chess board on the coffee table nor any food, and Sheldon and Amy were nowhere to be seen. Frowning, Raj wandered down the hall, wondering if they were in Sheldon's room. However, he found both bedrooms to be empty, just like the living room.

He returned to the living room and sat down on the couch. Where was everybody? It wasn't like Sheldon-or Amy, for that matter-to be late or to defy their schedules without advance planning. Raj pulled out his phone to see if either of them had texted him or left a message about changing their plans, but found none there. Had they ditched him? If they had, then that was pretty inconsiderate. Inconsiderate and downright mean. He was giving up his Saturday night to beta test a board game for Sheldon and he didn't even show him the courtesy of showing up?

Raj sighed and folded his arms across his chest. It looked like it was going to be another lonely Saturday night for him. Once again, the lovable foreigner was doomed to spend the evening alone. If that sad thought didn't warrant a beer, then Raj didn't know what did. He got up and made his way to the fridge.


	6. Chapter 6

**There's going to be one more chapter after this one. Hope you've all enjoyed the fic so far, and thanks to everyone who's reviewed.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

_I'm not sure about your sentiments regarding this situation, but I'm feeling extremely uncomfortable._

Under normal circumstances, Amy would've sent Sheldon a text of agreement; however, she didn't for fear of starting a conversation about everything the theoretical physicist disliked about this evening-a topic of discussion he'd been trying to start ever since he'd been forced to eat some of her salad.

She didn't blame Sheldon for feeling a tad out of place in this situation; he was not one who enjoyed public displays of affection in any way or form, so it wasn't surprising that being surrounded by two couples who were engaging in it caused him discomfort. Personally, Amy didn't mind the fact that snuggling while watching a movie at her apartment had been the decided post-dinner activity. What _did _make her feel awkward was the fact that she and Sheldon were not participating in the more intimate half of the activity, and the worry that it was rather noticeable. Amy had contemplated asking Sheldon to participate, but, given his current mood, it seemed rather risky.

The neurobiologist tried to settle her attention back on the film that was playing, hoping it would be a capable enough distraction to keep her from focusing on her problem. Unfortunately, it wasn't much help. Her attention had wavered about five minutes into the movie, and now she wasn't invested enough in what was happening in order divert her focus completely. All she knew was that one of the main characters was an Irish man, whom she thought had died, but apparently that wasn't the case, given that he seemed very much alive in the scene that was currently playing. However, even that oddity wasn't enough to keep her eyes from wandering to left to glance at Howard and Bernadette on the other end of the couch.

Really, there wasn't anything too extreme going on with their display of affection. The microbiologist had her head on the engineer's shoulder and a hand on his chest, and his arm was wrapped around her waist. Even Leonard and Penny who had to share a chair weren't engaging in anything too serious; Penny's head on Leonard's shoulder and their hands linked at the fingers. Nothing Amy deemed very exciting. It barely even scratched the surface of some of the things she'd read on the internet!

She decided that trying it out wouldn't be that dangerous, and so long as she started small, Sheldon shouldn't become too distressed.

Shifting her gaze over to the theoretical physicist next to her she began searching for a place to start. Her head on his shoulder seemed too big of a move to begin with, so she settling for placing her hand on his knee. She slowly inched her right hand to the side, glancing up at Sheldon every few seconds to ensure he hadn't caught on to what she was trying to do. When her hand was hovering just above his leg she let it drop to his knee. Sheldon jumped slightly.

Amy quickly returned her attention to the television, trying to act as though nothing had transpired, though she kept her hand on the physicist's knee. Through her peripheral vision, it didn't seem as though any of the others had noticed Sheldon's small reaction. For a moment Amy thought Bernadette was looking at them, but a second later the microbiologist's focus was back on the film.

The neurobiologist let out a silent sigh of relief. She'd managed to initiate some physical contact; that was good. Now all she needed was for Sheldon to reciprocate in some way, something she was sure she could convince him to do through some negotiations.

She received a text message from the physicist a moment later.

_What exactly are you trying to accomplish here?_

_I'm attempting to mimic the rest of the group in order to continue to create the facade that we're a happy couple on a group date. And, besides, perhaps following the herd will help to alleviate some of the discomfort._

_...in what universe?_

_Preferably this one._

_Might I remind you that we agreed we'd do this under the facade of a happy couple of _friends?_ I feel as though you're taking this a step too far._

Amy frowned before replying. Sheldon raised a good point; she _had _specified that they'd be a couple of friends, nothing more. However, though she hadn't stated it directly, she'd more or less told Penny and Bernadette that she and Sheldon would be participating in the group date as a couple. Well, this was a bump in her plan that she hadn't foreseen. She could try more negotiating, but she wasn't sure if public displays of affection were too high of price to pay for Sheldon, and she needed him in order to continue being a part of the group dates.

She was thumbing her phone, mulling over what to do when Sheldon spoke up. "Uh oh," he said.

Having not texted him back yet, Amy turned her attention back to the TV, wondering if he was talking about the movie. Three women appeared to be stuck in the middle of a lake on a rowboat, but that didn't seem like the kind of thing that would concern the theoretical physicist.

"What is it?" Penny asked, Sheldon having gotten the entire group's attention.

"It appears that I've forgotten something," Sheldon replied, eyebrows knitting together as he frowned down at his phone.

The rest of the group raised their eyebrows and exchanged glances, waiting for the theoretical physicist to elaborate. When he didn't, Leonard spoke up. "And what did you forget?"

"To cancel mine and Amy's previous plans with Raj."

Howard sat up, reaching over for the remote so he could pause the movie. "Is he mad?" he asked.

"I would assume so, considering he just sent me a text message describing how angry he is," Sheldon replied. He pushed his phone into his pocket and got to his feet, Amy's hand sliding from his knee. "And according to his text message he's made friends with all of the alcohol in our apartment. So," he said, clearing his throat. "Even though I'm having such a _wonderful_ time"- he gave Amy a quick nod in order to let her know that he was using sarcasm- "I'm going to have to go home and sort this out before Raj does something he'll regret, like sit in my spot."

Bernadette nodded, getting to her feet. "We should all go. Poor guy."

The others all stood up and Amy reluctantly followed them. She did feel bad for Raj, but she was rather disappointed that the evening was coming to an end. She wasn't sure how secure hers and Sheldon's place was in the group date unit was yet, and she felt like she could've used more time in order to demonstrate what an integral part of date nights they could be. If only she'd been able to finish her experiment with the public display of affection. That would've certainly asserted hers and Sheldon's spot in the group.

Amy locked her apartment door behind her as the six headed down the hall.

"Oh, no one mention to Raj that we were watching _P.S I Love You_," said Howard. "He's been bugging me to watch it with him all week."


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay, this is the final chapter. Hope you all enjoyed it, and thanks so much to everyone who reviewed.**

**Disclaimer: I still own nothing.**

When the six reached 4A they found Raj laying on the couch, the coffee table littered with empty beer bottles and a few potatoes, prompting Amy to wonder if, in his desperation for alcohol, Raj had attempted to make vodka – a rather pointless endeavour, though, seeing as it would take him two weeks. The astrophysicist also had a Mario Kart Wii wheel in his hands and was lazily turning it in circles; Amy figured this was a testament to how intoxicated he was, considering that neither the television nor the Wii were turned on.

"Hey, buddy," Howard said, moving to sit on the arm of the couch.

Raj slowly tilted his head back so he could see the engineer. He blinked up at Howard. "You guys suck," he mumbled.

At a nudge from Leonard, Sheldon stepped forward. He went to stand in front of his spot and then looked at the astrophysicist. "Raj," he said, wringing his hands. "You're feet are in my spot."

"Sheldon," Leonard sighed, folding his arms across his chest.

The theoretical physicist cleared his throat. "But that is, of course, unimportant, for the moment." He hesitantly moved to sit down on the arm of the chair, a look of upmost discomfort on his face. He turned to look at Raj again. "I would just like you to know that I am very sorry for depriving you of a night of playing three person chess, and, as compensation, I have a proposition for you."

Raj lifted his head, eyes growing wide. "I get to sit in your spot?" he asked, hopefully.

"Don't be silly."

Penny rolled her eyes.

"But, not to worry," Sheldon continued. "I think you'll find my offer much more satisfying." He stood and headed towards the hallway, motioning for Raj to follow him.

The astrophysicist shrugged and then clumsily pulled himself up from the couch to follow the theoretical physicist.

Penny raised an eyebrow as she watched the two disappear down the hall. "Do we want to know what this proposition is?"

"Well," Leonard started before thinking better of it. He shook his head. "Yeah, probably not."

Amy, on the other hand, was quite curious as to what Sheldon had in mind for Raj, and hurried after them down the hall, ignoring the questioning remarks she got from Penny. She found the two standing just outside of Sheldon's room. Raj had a large grin on his face and was vigorously shaking the theoretical physicist's hand.

Sheldon grinned upon noticing her arrival. "Oh, good, Amy, perfect timing," he said. "I've found a solution to our problem."

"Problem?" Amy asked, already not liking where this was going.

"Yes, our issue with the alliances and who'd have the most power in a crisis."

No, this was certainly not good. "I was under the impression that we'd already solved that problem," she pointed out, frowning.

"Yes, but now I've found a better solution," the theoretical physicist explained, grinning from ear to ear. He gestured towards the astrophysicist. "Given that Raj's family is rich, by aligning ourselves with him, we gain the upper hand because we'll have the funds to pay off anyone who tries to oppose our decisions." He nodded proudly.

Raj stumbled forward and raised his hand up to Amy. "Up top, alliance buddy." Before the neurobiologist had a chance to give him a high five – not that she felt like giving anyone a high five at this point – Raj thrust his hand forward, missing both of hers completely, and then headed back down the hall towards the living room.

Still beaming broadly, Sheldon made his way to the living room, reluctantly followed by Amy. That was it for her master plan. A stroke of brilliance she'd thought flawless gone down the drain. She knew there was no way she'd be able to talk Sheldon out of his new plan – it lacked romantic outings, conversations, and physical contact - , and now that Raj was involved, it seemed unfair to try and break up this new alliance. Still, it left the neurobiologist feeling rather disappointed; all that work and now she still had no means of creating more girl time with Penny and Bernadette. She supposed she would just have to begin brainstorming again, though she doubted any plan would even come close to this one.

* * *

><p>Penny was sitting on her couch, trying to decide which colour of nail polish would best disguise her man feet, when there was a knock at her door. "Hey, Bernadette," she said, upon opening the door and revealing the microbiologist. "What's up?"<p>

"We have a problem," Bernadette replied, digging through her purse as she entered the apartment. She finally pulled a sheet of paper from her bag and held it out to the waitress. "This."

Penny raised an eyebrow as she took the paper. Her eyes grew wider as she read what was on it.

"I found it in Amy's apartment the other night when we were getting ready for the group date," Bernadette explained, not waiting for Penny to ask.

Penny shook her head incredulously as she looked at the page. It was titled "Operation Bringing Girl Time Back" and then went on to give a detailed summary of how their group date would allow Amy to spend more time with them. It also listed out all the steps the neurobiologist had taken in order to pull off her plan, from convincing Penny and Bernadette to convincing Sheldon.

Finally, Penny lifted her gaze from the sheet of paper and turned it to stare at Bernadette, eyes wide. The microbiologist simply nodded, again, not needing the waitress to speak to know what she was thinking.

"Why would she think she had to do this?" Penny asked, slumping onto the couch. "We spend plenty of time with her."

Bernadette shrugged. "Not as much as we used to. And it's rarely ever all three of us hanging out anymore." She took a seat next to the waitress. "What do you think we should do?"

Penny shrugged, tipping her head back. "I don't know. Do you think, maybe, she'll just get used to it?"

"Judging by the fact that she took the time to come up with that plan, as well as twenty others that are on the back, I'm guessing not."

Penny frowned and flipped the sheet over, eyes bugging out again when saw the contents on the back. "Devise a treasure hunt that will keep Leonard, Howard, Raj, and Sheldon occupied for at least one week." The waitress turned to raise an eyebrow at the microbiologist. "You're right. We have to do something."

* * *

><p>"Leslie Winkle called me dumbass today."<p>

Amy frowned, tilting her laptop so she had a better view of the screen. "I see. And are you looking for comfort or a solution to your problem?"

"A solution, of course," Sheldon replied. "My chamomile tea provides comfort enough; I need to figure out a way to best her."

Amy nodded, thoughtful. "Well, if this is a war in which colourful names are the primary weapon, then perhaps you should seek out the help of a blog or book dedicated to insulting names."

The theoretical physicist cocked his head. "There are books about mean nicknames?"

"No, but there are books about bullying, and those are full of colourful names. I'd suggest looking in the children's section."

Sheldon frowned, looking dubious. "The last time I relied on the help of a children's book, I ended up suspended in midair, unconscious."

Amy was about to ask for the details of the situation, when she was interrupted by a knock at the door.

"It appears you have company," Sheldon commented, glancing in the direction of her door, even though he couldn't see it. "I'm in no mood for group socialization, so I'll sign off now."

Amy gave a quick nod before getting up to answer the door.

"And don't forget, we're meeting at Koothrappali's this Sunday to discuss the rules for our alliance!" Sheldon called.

The neurobiologist sighed, shaking her head. Being in an alliance with Sheldon and Raj was actually quite enjoyable, and the perks of knowing you had power over the group whenever needed were quite nice, but it did take up time better spent planning ways to have more girl time. At least the treasure hunt she'd been working on was coming along nicely.

It was Penny and Bernadette at the door.

"Hey, Amy," Penny said. Both women were smiling brightly.

"Hi," she said, stepping back to let the two in. "What are you guys doing here?"

"We came to see if you wanted to hang out on Saturday," Bernadette replied, grinning.

"Really?" Amy asked, trying not to sound too excited. For the past while she'd been the asker in these situations, hardly ever the askee. But, still, she wanted to play this cool.

"Yeah," Penny said. "It's been a while since we've had some girl time. We really need to make more time for it."

"Really?" she repeated, this time doing an even worse job of 'keeping her cool'. She cleared her throat. "Yeah, sure. That's cool. Whatever," she said, overly casual as she tried to dial it back down.

The waitress and microbiologist grinned at each other.

"So, any ideas on what we should do?" Bernadette asked.

"Row boating," Amy said immediately.

"Row boating?" Penny asked, raising an eyebrow.

The neurobiologist nodded. Ever since she'd seen the three women row boating in the film they'd watched during the group date, she'd made a note to try it with Penny and Bernadette at some point.

Penny and Bernadette glanced at each other and then both shrugged. "Okay," Penny agreed. "We're going row boating."

Bernadette did a small fist pump. "Yes!" she said, trying to add a bit more enthusiasm to the idea.

"Yay!" she said, clapping her hands before engulfing to the two women in a hug. She was getting her girl time back, and, oddly enough, it had nothing to do with any of her master plans. They really were quite ingenious, but Amy liked things better this way. She wasn't manoeuvring herself into her Bestie and Bernadette's lives; they wanted her there, and no master plan could beat that. Although, she was still intrigued by her treasure hunt idea. She made a note to save that one for another time.


End file.
